Who Am I?

I was a very shy child, often feeling different and less valuable compared to others. I was the youngest both in my nuclear family and among my cousins.

There was a widespread attitude of condescension, paternalism, and overvaluation, similar to how pets are often treated. These distortions, which undermine the principle of equality, left me with a contradictory legacy of devaluation and arrogance. Additionally, I carry the wound of growing up in a Latin American country, where women are often valued primarily for the sexual pleasure they can bring to men.

These distorted perceptions have followed me throughout my life, taking deep root and influencing many of my mistakes and struggles. It’s only recently that I’ve begun to take responsibility for recognizing and correcting them in alignment with God’s Principles and Laws.

Although my childhood and adolescence did not seem to be marked by overt sexualization—having had my first kiss only at the age of 18 and my first sexual experience around the age of 22, already in Brazil (that first "boyfriend" from my first kiss tried to assault me)—I was subjected to sexual harassment during this period by men around me: my brother, cousins, family friends, and even one of my sister's boyfriends. 

Without understanding the true meaning of self-love or loving others, and desperate for male and female validation, I ended up putting myself in countless risky situations, causing and experiencing a great deal of pain in my relationships.  I shared part of this journey on the blog, where I talk about my addiction to relationships with men (FROM DENIAL TO RESPONSIBILITY: My Addictions with Men) and also the experience of a pregnancy with someone I barely knew, which I chose to terminate, as described in the post   (THE FEAR THAT LEADS TO KILLING: the abortion of my first child).

I am committed to recovering the original purity that I believe God has granted to all His children. I seek to do so with His/Her help, learning to love myself, others, and God.

On a personal level, I am using this moment to identify and correct mistakes I still carry, for my happiness and that of the people around me today, as well as those who will become part of my life in the future. I share some of this journey of seeking my mistakes on the blog (COMPENSATION: Awakening and Repairing). Even this site serves as a way to document what I am learning to correct incorrect information shared in the past. 

Our three oldest children live outside the city. I share, along with my ex-husband, the care of our youngest son, who is 12 years old. As a mother, I am introducing changes in my interaction with this youngest child with whom I have the most contact. I have stopped doing some things that he can already do for himself, such as tidying and cleaning his room, cooking for him, or being his source of validation.  

I work in the socio-environmental management of a public university. This year, I had the opportunity to start a project focused on the well-being and sense of belonging of the campus community. The project's guidelines emphasize raising awareness about the various dimensions that impact our health, happiness, and well-being, both individually and collectively, as well as our responsibility to care for them.  To develop the project, I adapted the knowledge I had acquired from the Rayid Model and applied it to the four determinants of health as defined by the World Health Organization (WHO).